Or that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. I’ve been watching Steve’s phone for hours today while he sleeps in preparation of another 9pm to 7am shift. We are supposed to hear back about a job interview he had on Monday. They said he’d hear back in 48 hours. As I write this, it’s about 51 hours later…so…that phone should ring any minute, right?
This job has the potential to be a life-changing event for our family. Life-changing from a financial perspective as we would have, at least initially, two very solid incomes. Are we prepared to be good stewards of the bounty? A life-changing event for me as I would be able to pass the baton of primary breadwinner over to Steve. Would I keep working? Full time or part time? How are these changes going to impact my identity? Life-changing for our family dynamic as Steve would be able to spend mornings and evenings with us. Wow, I’m kinda used to my routine…am I prepared for things to get shaken up again?
So as much as I’m praying for a “you’re hired!” phone call, I can’t help but be struck by the fact that when we pray for blessing and provision, it usually comes with strings. Not necessarily bad strings, but things that need to be considered and weighed so that the provision is truly a blessing and not a burden. In the instance today, I think the consequences of Steve getting this job are all positive ones. But how many times do we pray for blessing or provision only to be disappointed when we don’t see it delivered? I think that maybe in those instances we aren’t aware of what strings might come attached to the “blessing” we are praying for.
It’s realizations like this that make me glad God is in control of closing doors as well as opening them. It doesn’t necessarily make the waiting part any easier though.
So I’ll keep trying to not stare at the phone waiting for it to ring. I’ll try to stop pushing the button every 5 minutes to double check that it’s still on. I’ll try to resist the urge to look at his inbox constantly…because maybe they will email instead of call. An answer would be nice! A “yes” or a “no” so we could move forward accordingly. How many years have I been praying for Steve to find the right career? How many years have I been patient?
I guess a few more hours or days won’t kill me! J
Dear Lord, thank you for this day. It’s a good day; it’s a day you have made. I woke up feeling confident that we would receive answers today. I’ve been telling everyone that it’s going to be a great day, regardless of what we hear back. I guess I didn’t quite prepare myself for the possibility that we might be met with silence instead. As the business day winds down to a close, I must face the idea that maybe we won’t have the answers as quickly as we thought. Steve may face another overnight shift of work with no end in sight. I want better for him. I want him to be met with hope instead of the continual discouragement he has faced with doors inexplicably slammed in his face. I want him to feel valued and important and capable of great things. I want him to have faith that the right door will open at some point.
But thank you for this day, and thank you for your promises that sustain us during these periods of waiting. Sometimes they are brief, and sometimes they drag on for years. But sometimes in the moment, the hours feel longer than the years. Lord, thank you for your faithfulness and provision in our lives this far. You have continued to provide in ways that we have not anticipated, and we trust you will continue to do so. Please give us rest and patience while we continue waiting for your perfect timing. We love you, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.