The weariness fully sinks in when I am alone. When things are finally quiet and I am not having to wade through all of the competing voices that try to hold my attention.
Right now, it’s just me and You, Lord. Even for just these few moments I feel the full weight of what I’ve been carrying. And it’s making me weary. I need to give it all back to you. Again. Why do I keep picking up what I’ve already laid at Your feet?
Continual pricks of discouragement bring tears to my eyes. Unwelcome tears that threaten to overflow down onto my cheeks and reveal to others my pain. But I am good at hiding my pain, even from myself sometimes. Why did you create these tear ducts to torment me?
I know of Your faithfulness. I’ve spoken to others of Your faithfulness. I hope in Your faithfulness. And yet, it feels like all my efforts are in vain. I toil, and my work is sabotaged. Things are breaking around me every day. I do what is right, but the results are not right! There is only brokenness and no breakthrough.
You whisper to me that the testing of my faith produces perseverance. I will admit that I’ve noticed perseverance growing. I haven’t been feeling very joyful about it though. What big plans you must have for me if I need to be so perseverant! If my faith needs to be strengthened this much, then you must be allowing it for a reason.
I can take comfort in knowing You have a plan in all this, but I am still weary. Still burdened. Still carrying things that I shouldn’t. I need to place them back in Your hands.
- I give You my disappointments: my expectations should not dictate my joy.
- I give You my sadness: I mourn, but I allow You to comfort me.
- I give You my “what if’s”: I know that nothing in my life has surprised you or caught you off guard.
- I give You my anxieties: worrying adds nothing to my life.
- I give You my desire for control: I must trust that You are more capable than me.
- I give You my fears: even if they came to pass You would still be good.
- And most importantly, I give You my praise: In the midst of any storm or calm, I will always praise You for who You are and what You’ve done.
Lord, please restore me and wash away the weariness. Refresh my spirit and be my joy.
The weariness sinks in when I’m alone. But I’m not alone, for You are with me. Remind me of Your presence so that I continue to place my burdens in Your capable hands.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
When I’m weary, I must remind myself of what I know. Usually, I’m weary and discouraged because I’ve allowed the little lies and insecurities whispered into my ear to get to me. So I need to change what I’m listening to and how I’m speaking about my situation.
A daffodil, like many other flowers, is interesting because it follows the sun. You may go outside in the morning and see all the daffodils facing the driveway, and then view them a few hours later and they are facing a new direction! All day long the flowers follow the sun. If they had eyes, we might even say that the sun dictates their perspective. They are always looking in the direction of the sun, and therefore they see what the sun illuminates for them.
Perspective is a huge component when battling weariness. What or who I follow dictates how I see the world. Am I following my emotions? Am I following the influence of a friend? Am I following money? Am I following my fears? Or am I following the Creator of the universe?
A good way to get myself back into a truthful frame of mind is to remind myself of truths! A little bit of pep talk goes a long way towards shifting my perspective away from weariness and back onto why God created me. Here is one that I recorded last week, and then needed to use this morning to get out of my weariness funk! I pray it encourages and blesses you too.