So I’ve been delaying writing this for weeks, and through a series of ridiculously weird events I find myself writing it now. Has God orchestrated the unusual to give me more time for obedience? I’m not sure that we will ever know, but I can’t help but feel like it is important to listen to Him and write what has been on my heart.
The topic of my God-given writing assignment is about entering a new season of life. But not just that—seasons change all the time. It’s about voluntarily leaving a season of predictable success for one of unknown outcomes. Now, my current season is far from perfect, but I’m at least familiar with its flaws. I already know the areas of dysfunction and can somewhat bandage them up. I see this season as one of blessing and prosperity, despite the flaws that are making me choose to leave it.
To summarize: I’m dropping out of the full-time workforce in order to homeschool my (soon-to-be) 4 boys. Which means, obviously, chopping my paycheck in half (I’ll still work about 20 hrs/wk), un-enrolling them from the schools that they enjoy, and doing something that I’ve never done before (be a semi-stay-at-home-mom). Holy cow, am I nuts? Quite possibly.
Now it’s time to leave the comfort of a predictable routine and embark on a journey where I don’t know what even daily life will look like. I sat in the auditorium of my oldest son’s end of year school program last week and questioned these decisions to leave. It’s a wonderful school and we have enjoyed our time there. And lately sometimes I’ve been at work and started questioning changing my role there. The job has been a blessing and common sense would say I’m nuts to leave the success I’ve found.
And yet, as I’ve found myself saying to people lately, just because something is a blessing now—doesn’t mean it remains a blessing forever. I don’t want to keep my hand closed on these current blessings and prevent God from exchanging them for others. It’s a bittersweet swap, but one I want to embrace with optimism and not be afraid of.
I do have fears for the future. I don’t lay awake at night thinking about them, but I do still have those moments where thoughts spiral into potential negativity. Usually I’m quick to squash them, but to pretend like I have no doubts would be a lie. It is during these times that I am grateful for the peace that God has been gracious enough to give me.
Seasons change for all of us, and sometimes we have no choice in the matter. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful in approaching this new season of life:
~Seeking community. Finding quality people to do life with makes a huge difference. Isolation leads to becoming susceptible to the enemy’s lies and discouragements. Good friends can help be sounding boards, offer prayer, and bring comfort to a potentially uncomfortable situation.
~Singing hymns. I personally like old hymns, but any worship song would do. Staying in a mindset of worship really helps keep the focus off of me and onto the things of God. It’s way easier to be positive and brave when I have proper perspective.
~Obedience. I’m not perfect at this by any means, however, if I feel led to do something I try to do it! I think this has helped me to be in the middle of God’s plans for me instead of resisting them. Disobedience to our callings is almost like a self-sabotage—we make life that much harder on ourselves because we are too afraid, “too busy”, or too self-absorbed to act.
I’m very excited and curious to enter this new season. I don’t expect it to be easy, in fact in some ways it will be more difficult than the present. However, I do strongly feel that this is what I should be doing and it’s not up to me to know what the end result will be. If I am moving forward according to God’s instructions, then I can be confident that this next season will be redeemed for His glory—no matter what it looks like from a human perspective. We are so limited in what we see!
Now it’s about time for me to go into labor and really kick things off!
One thought on “Swapping Seasons”
Really excited for you and what is to come! Praying for you as you prepare to give birth and welcome your 4th son! 🙂