So I’ve been delaying writing this for weeks, and through a series of ridiculously weird events I find myself writing it now. Has God orchestrated the unusual to give me more time for obedience? I’m not sure that we will ever know, but I can’t help but feel like it is important to listen to Him and write what has been on my heart.
The topic of my God-given writing assignment is about entering a new season of life. But not just that—seasons change all the time. It’s about voluntarily leaving a season of predictable success for one of unknown outcomes. Now, my current season is far from perfect, but I’m at least familiar with its flaws. I already know the areas of dysfunction and can somewhat bandage them up. I see this season as one of blessing and prosperity, despite the flaws that are making me choose to leave it.
To summarize: I’m dropping out of the full-time workforce in order to homeschool my (soon-to-be) 4 boys. Which means, obviously, chopping my paycheck in half (I’ll still work about 20 hrs/wk), un-enrolling them from the schools that they enjoy, and doing something that I’ve never done before (be a semi-stay-at-home-mom). Holy cow, am I nuts? Quite possibly.
Now it’s time to leave the comfort of a predictable routine and embark on a journey where I don’t know what even daily life will look like. I sat in the auditorium of my oldest son’s end of year school program last week and questioned these decisions to leave. It’s a wonderful school and we have enjoyed our time there. And lately sometimes I’ve been at work and started questioning changing my role there. The job has been a blessing and common sense would say I’m nuts to leave the success I’ve found.
And yet, as I’ve found myself saying to people lately, just because something is a blessing now—doesn’t mean it remains a blessing forever. I don’t want to keep my hand closed on these current blessings and prevent God from exchanging them for others. It’s a bittersweet swap, but one I want to embrace with optimism and not be afraid of.
I do have fears for the future. I don’t lay awake at night thinking about them, but I do still have those moments where thoughts spiral into potential negativity. Usually I’m quick to squash them, but to pretend like I have no doubts would be a lie. It is during these times that I am grateful for the peace that God has been gracious enough to give me.
Seasons change for all of us, and sometimes we have no choice in the matter. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful in approaching this new season of life:
~Seeking community. Finding quality people to do life with makes a huge difference. Isolation leads to becoming susceptible to the enemy’s lies and discouragements. Good friends can help be sounding boards, offer prayer, and bring comfort to a potentially uncomfortable situation.
~Singing hymns. I personally like old hymns, but any worship song would do. Staying in a mindset of worship really helps keep the focus off of me and onto the things of God. It’s way easier to be positive and brave when I have proper perspective.
~Obedience. I’m not perfect at this by any means, however, if I feel led to do something I try to do it! I think this has helped me to be in the middle of God’s plans for me instead of resisting them. Disobedience to our callings is almost like a self-sabotage—we make life that much harder on ourselves because we are too afraid, “too busy”, or too self-absorbed to act.
I’m very excited and curious to enter this new season. I don’t expect it to be easy, in fact in some ways it will be more difficult than the present. However, I do strongly feel that this is what I should be doing and it’s not up to me to know what the end result will be. If I am moving forward according to God’s instructions, then I can be confident that this next season will be redeemed for His glory—no matter what it looks like from a human perspective. We are so limited in what we see!
Now it’s about time for me to go into labor and really kick things off!